Focus, focus, focus

I can't believe that I'm only 10 days from having surgery. It seems like forever that I've been waiting for 1-even being able to get it done, and 2- just waiting the almost 5 months of having it scheduled. I've been this way for a long time and although it's always been devistating, it has NEVER affected me the way it has in recent years. Maybe its that it got a billion times worse from pregnancy, or maybe its just the lack of self-esteem its given me, but either way, I couldn't be more excited to just have it done and over with. Well, until we see what baby number two, and maybe three and four (hee hee) do to my body! For now, I can't think about that and just have to be happy with how I will feel and know that if this does happen again, atleast this time, I'm starting from a good (even) place. I can't express how nice it will feel to wear a bra without the huge insert (that is usually used for masectomy patients). It will be so nice to not be constantly adjusting and worrying about things looking normal. It will feel so good to shop and have a broader selection of what I can actually wear. It will be a relief to not have to wash and powder that damn thing all the time! haha. Most of all, I know I will feel better and happier and right now, thats what matters!
For months, this day couldn't come fast enough... now that its creeping up on me, I feel the stress and huge load of to-do's on my shoulders. Not only do I have a 19 month old, who's in the middle of potty training, but I have a crap load of homework and studying in preparation for my early exam. I'm not doing so well in math and NEED to do extremely good on the exam! I want to go to the hospital that day (530 am. Yikes!) feeling at ease about everything. To do that, I need to have a good grade in math, a happy baby, a clean house, and a plan! The goal this week is to do all the homework. This weekend I will take time out for myself, since its my 21st birthday, to have a good time with family and friends. Starting Monday, I will be studying my heart out for that exam on Thursday, come home and touch up the house, and spend the evening relaxing (or trying to, but I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck). On top of that, we might be getting a different SUV and even if we don't, I'll have to spare some time for the DMV to renew my license, go get a few groceries, and plan a few easy meals for the husband to make...
Let me say, I know I should just be feeling very blessed to be having my issue fixed and that I KNOW there are alot of people who have alot more/worse stresses in there life. This is just my place to unload, vent, and write things out!