Last night, we went to my parents for Father's Day dinner. As expected, Joey got his first & luckily only call right before dinner (he was on call all weekend & is again tomorrow.. thats a whole different blog). I made him relax and eat instead of rushing over on Father's Day, especially since it was perfect outside & there was no need for heat or air. He did have to leave right after though so Grant & I decided to stay and watch old family videos (again, a whole new blog post...I've got alot to catch up on I guess.) Afterward, we decided to get in the hot tub & thats where this post begins...
This was the first time I've gotten in a swimsuit this year & first time since my surgery. I was really sad & mad at myself. I guess I just thought getting my boobs fixed & evenly small would make everything better. I was so focused on how bad that was that I just failed to notice that I'm still packing a few extra baby pounds. Can I even call them that anymore? He's going to turn TWO the end of July. This sounds totally dramatic because I really am only 5 pounds heavier then I was when I got pregnant, but I was on the chubby side then so really I'm still 10 pounds from my ideal weight. I'm honestly not so worried about the actual weight part of it because I'm 120 & in average range BMI. I'm more worried about how flabby looking & out of shape I am right now. A few extra pounds on my short body makes a big difference & so does not being in shape or tone. Also being flatter chested, although I LOVE it, makes my tummy & hips stand out more. Oh & my arms shouldn't jiggle when I wave. Enough said.
Now that I've got all that out there, its time to make a change. I know I don't need to do anything drastic & I'm not as worried about the actual weight as much as how I look & feel. My first change is to watch what I eat & not consume more than 1200 calories a day. The second change is to take Grant on a daily walk. Atleast a 20 minute speed walk every evening & 45 minutes to an hour a 2-3 times a week. I'm also going to break out the wii fit & do my Jillian Micheals full body workout 2-3 times a week. I'm making my husband hold me accountable by reminding & asking me about it. I'm also going to reward myself when I've stuck with it for a whole month... He doesn't know about that idea yet though. ;) Maybe a new outfit, better makeup, or a massage. We'll see.
Now I just need to work on time management and the motivation part of it. Its hard to find "me time" when I use my two sitters (Grant's grandmas) 3-4 days a week for atleast a few hours a day just for school time & then manage everything else I have to get done on a daily basis. Nap time is usually homework, laundry, or other housework time & the evenings are busy with dinner, dishes etc. I guess I could get up before Joey leaves, but he leaves at 630 am & if you know me, you KNOW I don't do mornings well at all. I'm a BAD night owl (as I type its after 2 in the morning)! Sounds like a bunch of excuses, but really I've just always had a hard time justifying putting in all the effort for 10 damn pounds when there is so many other things that seem more important. I didn't realize, until last night, how much I did care about those stupid flabby areas, but that's why I'm trying to make it work into my regular day & these are all things I can do with a busy toddler around! Now for the motivation part.. Its hard being motivated when its very possible for me to be pregnant in the next couple months anyway. I just have to remind myself that its better to start without the extra weight & that I want to keep it up through the next pregnancy anyway. I don't know how long its really going to take & its better to be getting in shape in the mean time. :) If nothing else, its a good distraction...
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