My baby is no longer a baby

Over the last month or so, bedtime & especially naptime were becoming a battle. Naps became hit & miss & although we always tried, he usually refused to take one. Sometimes he'd throw a leg over his crib or pack n play, but we all kept telling him it'd be a bad owie to fall... in hopes it'd keep him in there. Well, it worked up until last week when he was at his grammy's & when she went to check on him she hears a knock on the door & sure enough he'd gotten out & was pretty pleased with himself. The next few days he'd threaten to do it in his crib, but we'd tell him it was bigger than the pack n play & he could get hurt. Again, that only lasted a short while. The other day my came to our house while I went to work & he gave her quite the fight going down, but she knows he will do that sometimes then go right to sleep. She can't stand hearing him cry so she went out & sat on the front porch. Not 10 minutes later she hears a knock on the front window & a little voice saying "hi gammy". Yep, he was even more pleased this time.
We knew the day was coming, but I just really dreaded the transition into a toddler bed. He's just such a busy body & doesn't do well going to bed anywhere, but the crib. Luckily, his crib turns right into a toddler bed so its pretty much the same thing without a side rail. The whole evening we practiced going to bed & tried our best to cheer him on so that bedtime would go smoothly. We cleaned out his room & took out all the toys & anything dangerous then put a door knob cover on the door. At bedtime he as excited so he let us tuck him in & go out without any problem. I think he thought it was still a game because when he realized he couldn't open the door he was pretty mad. After only ten minutes of rattling the door & fussing, all was quiet. When I went to check on him, I thought I'd find him on the floor, but to my suprise, he had completely tucked himself in & was sound asleep! He slept all night & in big boy undies too!! The last couple nights he's been more testy about going to bed, but does fine once we close the door. I just can't believe its gone so well. (knock on wood). This was the last "baby to toddler" transition so its official.... He's a big boy now! Still wondering where the last two years went...

Letting off some steam!

Its probably not a good time to post since I'm super moody, irritable, and tired, but here goes it anyway...
Today, I'm just feeling BLAH. I started taking Vitex/Chasteberry last week and so far I think its working. I finally started my irregualar period 3 days after taking it. Bad news is... I feel like crap. Contraction like cramps, headaches, nauseated, and super emotional, okay bitchy! lol (Don't tell my husband I admitted that!) Good news is... I think its doing its job. I can literally feel my ovaries aching like they are trying to get back into the swing of things. ;) Hopefully its works and I ovulate and get pregnant soon. This trying business SUCKS!
Maybe bloated should go in the first paragraph, but I can't decide if its my period or I'm just fat. Seriously, I feel like I've gained some weight and from pictures recently I think I really might have. The scale disagrees, thank God, but I just feel mad at myself for it. I've been really bad about sticking to any kind of diet and exercising. I could go on with excuses like I'm too busy (which I really feel like I am), but mostly it comes down to I'm lazy, tired, and more than anything haven't cared because I thought I'd be pregnant by now. Bad, I know because I should exercise and be healthy even-more-so being pregnant or wanting to be. Ughhhh I keep finding myself apologizing to Joey because he's lost so much weight & looks GREAT then here's his chubby wife. I always say one more baby then its "me time" & I'm getting into shape. I really mean that!
School is a pain. I HATE math with a passion and pre calculus is just HARD & time consuming. I have actually done pretty good so far... 100 on all homework & quizzes, 88% on my first test (don't judge, thats a good math test grade for me). I love my online Ethics course, but I feel like I'm so busy with math, work, being a mom and wife, that I end up rushing through it instead of really grasping it & getting to enjoy it. Its easy to do and doesn't take a whole lot of time so I find myself cramming it to get on with other things.
Work is okay... I can't get into details of my job & clients, but lets just say it hasn't been emotionally & mentally easy lately. I took on a new shift so now I'm working Tuesdays along with Mondays & Wednesdays, but its still only 7 hours a week. Totally manageable right? Not really once I add up school & homework time & Grant. I really wish we could afford to have more help with him (like preschool or daycamp/daycare). My mom is back at work since school started & Joey is super busy with work that it comes down to my mother-in-law, who isn't in the best of health, having to watch him the most. She is wonderful & really helps me so much, but I can only put so much on her before it wears her down & she feels sick. Thats the last thing I want so I have to keep it pretty limited. My homework has come down to nap time & bed time which is hard because he refuses nap sometimes & bed time means I'm already tired & its getting late.
The scary thing is I'm feeling like this with one kid, two classes, & a very part time job! Seriously, I don't know how other moms do it!! It makes me really nervous to be in the nursing program with a full load of classes & possibly two kids! We will definately have some re-evaluating to do when that time comes!! Ahhhh
This Saturday I'm having a Scentsy party. I've been wanting to get a few things & so has family & friends so I figured why not! I also thought it'd be a good excuse to have a night of fun with friends. Hopefully it will be just that & not a complete flop. I'm making it simple with appetizer type stuff, but it still means the house needs cleaned & homework needs done ahead of time...
Sorry if this sounds like I'm a downer! Just needed to vent a little. I know things could be SOOO worse & I have it REALLY good. Stress just gets me & PMS doesn't help it. ;)

Question...

Has anyone used Vitex to help with cycle regulation & fertility?
Ever since getting off the pill a few months back, my cycle has been all over the place. Sometimes back to back & sometimes not at all. The times I've been late or its gone really long I get all excited thinking I'm pregnant just to be let down again. (I'm done taking stupid tests until there is no denying it!) Anyway, I have been reading about natural remedies to regulate everything & have heard to try Vitex so today I stopped at the health food store & got me some. Hopefully it works! I would love to hear your stories on all this!!??

Labor Day Weekend in Cascade

My parents rented a house on Cascade Lake for Labor Day Weekend so this last week I crammed to get all my homework done so that we could leave at a good time on Friday... well that stupid math held me back & we didn't get up there until 11 at night. Grant took a long nap (longer than I usually let him because I needed to get my homework done) so he was wired & so not ready for bed when we got there. Him & I stayed up until 2 in the morning! He has an issue going to bed anywhere, but home because we've only left town overnight one other time so I wanted to make sure he was good & tired. I sent Joey to bed at midnight then we crawled in at 2 & it took a good half hour before Grant finally fell asleep.
My parents friends brought up there 4 year old grandson so the next morning they played & played while the guys fished then we all went to breakfast. I had the best eggs benedict ever! Anyway, after that we walked around the different shops then headed back to the house so grumpy pants Grant could take a nap. Everyone else went on my dads boat to fish & Joey & I had a huge battle getting Grant to finally sleep & we took a nap ourselves. That night was the first BSU game & luckily our friends Jason & Courtney were staying at a near by campsite & somebody brought up a tv to watch the game so we joined them. I didn't get to hardly even watch it (which is okay with me) because Grant was so busy finding sticks to put in the fire. We got back to the house at 1030ish & ended up battling with Grant for 3 hours to go to sleep. Ughhh.
The next day we were so tired that we decided it'd be better to just head home late that night. I made a big breakfast for everyone then we played at the lake & fished all day. Joey almost caught a huge trout, but as soon as he was about to pull it in, it got away! We seriously were about to give up since nobody had caught anything then my mom got all excited because she got one. She even stood up like it was some big fish & it turned out to be a tiny little perch. She put it back & cast again & boom caught another one. We're pretty sure she actually caught the same one twice in a row! lol After that we headed back to the house for dinner & had some really yummy elk burger. We let the boys wear eachother out some more while we packed up to go home. We knew we made a good choice when Grant passed out as soon as we hit the road & we got home in like half the time that we expected because there was no traffic. We finally all slept really good that night & it was nice to have Monday to catch up on everything to start a new week.
I'm a bad mom & left my camera in my purse all weekend then realized it the last day, but the battery needed charged so I only got a couple pictures of the boys playing! I'll load them on facebook soon. Its funny because Jet was 4 & was only like 2 inches taller than Grant. Gosh, I wish I could say he gets that height from me! lol

Trying to keep up...

I'm so bad at keeping up with this! We've been super busy this summer & it just seems to be on the bottom of the list all the time. I really want something for my kids to look back at someday, but so far its not happening as I planned.

For a quick update on what we've been up to..

This summer I took two classes so that kept my weeks pretty busy. I had 3 weeks off before fall semester started last week and in that time, I crammed in as many playdates, outings, and sleep in/lazy days as I could. (Yes, my wonderful 2 year old is totally cool with sleeping in when I let him. How lucky am I?) We've been to Just Kid'n around, the boat races at the speedway, Roaring Springs, The Western Idaho Fair, the park a billion times, and a few trips up to the lake!

Like I said, school started up last week & now I'm sure I'll be busier than ever again. I'm taking pre calculus & ethics. On Mondays & Wednesdays I work as a homehealth CNA from 830 to 1030 then I have math from 1130 to 1245. My ethics is online so I try to do that Tuesdays & Thursdays. It doesn't sound like alot when I write it out, but the homework takes up SO much time & planning around a busy toddler makes it that much more interesting! My goal is to still get things done by Friday to try & have fun day with Grant that day & although that can't happen every week, I like to have my weekends open on atleast one of the days.

Grant is getting so big! I meant to do a two year post, but totally spaced it with all the craziness. He is now just a month over 2 years old. I am losing track with all he can do & say now, but here is a few off the top of my head...

* A few weeks ago we took the bottle. The doctor said it was becoming more harm than good & I've figured out that its all or nothing with this kid. He doesn't slowly start or stop anything. We'd already tried cutting back on when & how many bottles he had a day so we finally decided to pick it a day for it to just be gone. I conviently picked a day that Joey would be home with us. :) Grant woke up & asked for "bobbi" & I told him that it was all gone. He cried and I told him it was because he was a big boy now and babies have bottles. I let him open his new sippys he picked (that were waiting for this day) & he decided it was okay to finally drink milk out of them. I was amazed at how well he did. For about a week he'd ask for it, but quickly get over it & ramble on about a baby having it. His appetite has increased alot & it has made a huge difference on how much better he eats. He will sometimes drink milk out of a sippy, but for the most part, he has stopped wanting milk all together. I'm sure as he gets more used to not having the bottle, he'll like it again.
* He still loves "Big Bird" (Sesame Street) & its the only time he will sit for a whole ten minutes or so. For his birthday his Aunt Nana ordered a stuffed Big Bird online (she searched all the stores first) & its his bedtime buddy. Along with his dotey of course!
* He has been such a good influence on reminding us all to say our prayers. He has a little prayer bear that his grammy gave him & now every night he asks us to pray with him. Its the sweetest thing ever!
* He still loves to be outside ALL the time!
* He is a busy body & wants to constantly be putting things together or taking them apart. He loves buckles, buttons, puzzles & building blocks. I took him on the train ride at the fair & all he was worried about was buckling & unbuckling the seat belt next to him.
* He likes to be read to & loves pointing out things & practicing new words.
* He can kind of sing the alphabet
* He is learning how to count to ten & will mimick me while we count certain things. His favorite way of "practicing" is by playing hide & seek when daddy is home.
* Another new game he just started is pretending to be a bear. He climbs on our back & holds on to our neck while we crawl around & he growls. He likes it best when there is somebody to "scare".
* He's learning new words everyday. Some are clear as day & some take us awhile to figure out. I seem to always understand them best.
* He LOVES yogurt & will insist on having atleast one, but usually two a day!
* He is a bit picky when it comes to veggies & some fruits, but if I keep trying he will usually atleast try it for me, & thats all I ask of him. Even the things he thinks he doesn't like get put on his plate in hopes he'll eventually get a taste for them.
* Somedays he gets on a kick of liking a certain something. For instance out of nowhere he'll eat two bananas in a row or two cereal bars.
* He gets frustrated when he wants something & can't explain himself. I notice his meltdowns are worse when he's hungry or tired though & it seems to help if I get down to his level & try to talk it out. If its something he can't have or do, I explain why & sometimes he'll calm down, but most of the time he is still mad, but if I ignore it, he gets over it.
* We've introduced time-outs & they seem to work well. If he's being super naughty, we usually warn him once, but if it happens again he gets put in his crib with the lights on & door open. After a couple minutes, we talk it out & he's usually ready to say sorry.
* He's still doing really well with potty training & his accidents usually only happen when he's very preoccupied. His night time pull ups are dry most of the time, but I haven't put him in underwear for bed yet because he's still in a crib.
* He hates changing his clothes & getting dressed. If I'd let him, he'd be naked all the time. Getting out of his jammies & dressed for the day or into jammies after the bath are quite the chore lately & usually end in a "bribe" of some sort. Something that works one day, doesn't work the next. He catches on way to fast!
* I'm pretty sure he's getting his two year molers & it isn't fun for any of us! Hopefully they break through soon!
We are truly enjoying every new little thing he learns to do or say. He keeps us pretty entertained & even the hard days are worth it all! I feel lucky everyday that I get to be his mommy!

Still no baby number two on the way yet. :( I am so impatient & this trying thing is hard work!! ;) My cycle seems to be really off since getting off the pill, but I am hoping it regulates itself so I can track ovulation better. This really makes me feel even more blessed that Grant was concieved after only being off the pill 3 days! Hey maybe by the next time I get around to updating this thing I will have good news! :) Wishful thinking, right?

So much for a quick update... I promise to get better!

Our Family Trip (its a long one)

I'm losing sleep over this so feel lucky! Its on my to-do list & since this week is so crazy, I figured I'd better get it down before the details are gone!!
Thursday even Joey, Grant, and I drove to Pendleton for 3 hours (about half way to our destination), in hopes that it would help break up the drive and kind of give us an extra night and day of vacation. I didn't give Grant a nap that day in hopes he'd sleep in the car since we planned to leave shortly after nap time anyway. Well... he didn't sleep a wink! He just talked, played, and whined the whole way. It made me pretty nervous for the rest of the trip. His grandparents bought him a dvd player for the road and it seemed to help here and there, but he was more interested in how it worked and kept pushing all the buttons! lol Right before we got there, I found the "hold" button. Awesome. Atleast it wasn't when we got home though, right? Anyway, we got to our hotel and I was pretty taken back. I booked it online and the pictures were so deceiving. They made it look pretty decent and their pool looked like it was inside. I planned to be able to take Grant swimming to wear him out before bed, but the pool was outside and it was too cold. Double awesome. We got in our room and it was literally the size of Grant's bedroom plus a tiny bathroom and dark shower. It smelled like a whole bottle of old lady perfume/air freshener stuff and the bed was so stiff. We tried to cancel our reservation, but our card had already been charged, thanks to stupid expedia.com. We decided to go get ice cream then came home to go to bed. Bedtime was quite the challenge. Grant doesn't sleep anywhere, but his crib. Even when he's sick, he prefers to be in his crib. He never falls asleep anywhere else except sometimes in the car if he's totally wiped out. We brought the pack and play, a sheet, and some tacs (thinking we'd maybe try to section off part of the room). Well that was out of the question as soon as we saw the room, but we tried to lay him in the pack and play anyway. I knew it wouldn't work and it didn't so we let him get in our bed and that didn't work either. We told him to pick where he wanted to sleep, but either way it was bedtime and he went back and forth a bunch. Finally, after crying in our bed for about an hour, he fell asleep. At 330 he was wide awake and ready to get up. Joey finally figured out he was scared that we were going to put him in the pack n play when he fell asleep so he had to take it down and put it away before Grant would go back to sleep. We were able to get a few more hours before it was time to get up. We stopped for breakfast and met up with Pop pop & Grammy (Joey's parents) then hit the road head towards Salem.
It was a 4 1/2 hour drive to Salem. Grant did really good and fell asleep a couple hours into it. He slept over an hour and when he woke up we stopped for gas and a potty break. He decided to ride with Grammy & Pop pop the rest of the way (the last 40 minutes). We went to Enchanted Forest Theme Park and Grant loved it! It was a really neat, fun place for kids. It had alot of different animation of different nursery rhymes including the full house or castle the story talked about and the characters acting out inside of it. Its hard to explain. There was alot of tunnels to climb through, rides, and shows. The pictures on my facebook help show what it was like. His favorite part was probably when he got to "drive" a train around and his own bumper boat. Grant loved it and we spent most of the day there then headed to our hotel in Vancouver.
Luckily, I did a way better job picking that hotel and it seemed like some luxury hotel compared to the other (not really luxury though lol). We went out for pizza then ice cream and came back to go to bed. We didn't even bother with the pack n play at all. Grant took a little while to finally go to sleep, but once he did, he slept a good 9 hours in our bed.
The next day was his 2nd birthday and we got up bright and early to go to the Motocross National in Washougal. Grant seemed really sleepy on the drive and I wasn't quite sure how he would do, but figured he was just tired for the last couple days. Right as we were pulling into the track, he threw up all over himself! I felt so bad for him and was so afraid he was sick and we'd have to leave! Luckily, he shaped right up and we had a change of clothes for him. We cleaned up the carseat the best we could with wipes and headed into the race. He acted fine all day so I'm thinking it was a combination of excitement, lack of sleep, nothing but milk on his stomach, and maybe a little car sickness. We had alot of fun watching the races and Grant was in heaven. It worked out perfect that it was on his birthday. He told every stranger that he could that he was two and wanted them to sing to him. It was hilarious! Part way into the race we realized we were standing right next to Ryan Dungey's mom and girlfriend. Pretty cool, especially since he won! By the end, Grant was pretty sleep and actually fell asleep in his stroller. That seriously NEVER happens! He slept all the way back to the car and the whole drive back to the hotel. As soon as we got to our room and tried to lay him down he started to look around and got up. He had the funniest expression and started saying "Bye bye" with his hands up and it took me a minute to figure out that he was asking when in the world we went bye bye from the motorcycles and how we got back to the hotel! lol He had puked on his dotey (his little blanket w/ tags that he doesn't go anywhere without) so luckily they had an expensive onsite laundry mat and we were able to wash it. We cleaned up and went to Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner since spaghettie is his favorite food. We had an amazing dinner and Grant just loved being sang to and especially blowing out his candle. :) We headed back to the hotel and were all just exhausted. Luckily, Grant was too (or had gotten used to things) and went to bed with us like a champ! We slept in a little longer the next morning then headed for the Portland Zoo. We had to ride a shuttle in since it was so busy. I knew that meant it must be good and it was! It made the Boise Zoo seem pretty lame, really. They had three different kinds of bear including Polar Bear and had alot of them. They had sea otters, crocodiles, hippos, lions, tigers, cheetah, elephants, owls, eagles, pigs, giraffes, zebra, deer, tons of different monkeys, frogs and turtles, and many more I'm forgetting. They also had a dino walk with huge animated dinosaurs and Grant thought it was pretty cool! The whole thing was just really neat and I think we all enjoyed it as much as Grant did.
After a full day there, we headed home. Grant slept the first half of the drive so that made it much easier and did really well the second half. He got fussy and impatient the last hour or so, but that was kind of expected. We didn't get home until after 11 and we were all so tired. We unloaded the car and left everything to unpack for the next day. I was worried Grant would want to sleep with us, but he went to bed no problem. I think he missed his crib. Joey, luckily, took Monday off to be able to recover.
I still think we are trying to recover though! It was such a busy weekend and now a busy week! I have finals for both my summer classes and they are pretty time consuming. On top of that, I need to clean and get the rest of the Grants party stuff ready for Saturday and theres a million other to-dos too! I also have to baby showers to go to this weekend. I'm excited for all of that! Next week I'm working full-time to fill in for someone then I'm really looking forward to my two weeks off before Fall semester starts. Ughhh.

Here I go... :/

I went in to do the "hire process" at my new job today. I will be doing CNA work doing prn until they can get my regular shifts. It will be 15 or less hours a week which is enough for me to handle. Between that & school, I guess I can no longer call myself a "stay-at-home" mom. :( That makes me really sad! I have to take this job so that my license doesn't expire for my RN application this Spring & the work experience is extra points. Its going to be really hard for me to leave my baby so much more, but I know he is in good hands. Between my mom, MIL, & Joey, he still won't be in daycare which is such a blessing since we cannot afford that unless I work full-time. Now its going to be all about time management. How am I going to juggle everything? Just finding the time for class, homework & studying while being a mom, wife, & homemaker was stressful enough & now I throw work into it. I see alot of thrown together meals or Joey learning to cook in the near future!!! I hope its not too hard on Grant & that we come up with something pretty consistent for him so he's not being juggled around. I hope I don't wear his grandmas out too bad. I also hope Joey can manage the evenings or nights without me. He works on average 60 hours a week so the evenings are usually pretty laid back until now! I'm just stressing. I know it will all work out fine. I am excited to be back in the work place a little & to get alot of different experience. Oh & of course to find cute scrubs to wear! :)
More than anything, I feel so blessed to have spent the first two years of my sons life at home with him (besides school of course). That is time I will never regret or forget & it was worth every stressful situation I will have to face. I am so lucky to have had the oppurtunity to spend that time raising our baby & focusing on school. I have my husband to thank for working his butt off so that I could do that. Money is tight, but again... it is more than worth it! I also have to thank my MIL & mom who have helped with Grant while I go to school. What a blessed life this is!!!

Dad's surgery

My dad was finally able to have his surgery on Thursday. For those who don't know (& mostly for documentation), my dad has suffered from diverticulits for a long time. Over the last couple years, it had gotten bad enough that it was causing "holes" in his colon. Every month or so, he have some pretty serious stomach pain and could kind of control it with medicine that he would take for about a week. Last year over Labor Day Weekend, him & my mom were in Brownley camping with friends when he all of a sudden was in horrible pain & had my mom take him to the ER. They admitted him because he was fighting some serious infection in his gut because of the holes in his colon. He spent about two weeks to overcome all that & when he left, he was told that as soon as the infection was gone, he needed to have a good chunk of his colon removed (the part with the holes). A month or so later he went in to have the surgery, but instead the doctor came running out of the OR to get my mom & tell her to meet them in the ER because they thought my dad was having a heart attack. It turned out to be something called an aeortic flutter & after meetings with a cardiologist, he was able to control it with medicine, but the told him his heart just wasn't strong enough for surgery yet. He finally was given the go ahead for surgery, but in the meantime he had another huge flare up & they had to wait until that cleared up to operate. The surgery was only supposed to take 3 hours & it took 7! The doctor said he had alot more work than he expected. The first couple hours was spent cutting through scar tissue due to his appendix rupture 7 years ago were they had to rush to get him open (leaving him with a vertical scar from his belly button down). He said he was just long overdue for this surgery & his colon was litterally like cutting cement so that was part of the extra time too. We all waited in his room for him to come out of recovery & when he did, it was hard to see. He was in ALOT of pain & sounded like he was giving birth (that part was a little funny). They gave him double & half pain meds & he was finally able to go to sleep... after about 30 minutes of chewing out the nurses. He consistantly got better & was able to come home yesterday & celebrate the 4th with us. He is still in some pretty bad pain & cannot wait to have a real meal... he's gone back & forth between soft & liquid diets for the last month! We are just happy it is down with & now he is finally on the road to recovery!!!

Grant is almost 2!

Today we got Grant's 2 year pictures & family pictures done. I totally didn't anticipate how much work it would be to get him to cooperate. It must've slipped my mind that he is almost 2 & getting him dressed & out the door on time has been a battle the last few days! He used to be SO easy going & now everything has to be his idea & he wants to do it by himself. He had a full melt down because I made him change his clothes then another when we had to get in the car instead of ride his trike outside. We got there a little late & I was so worried we'd have to reschedule. Luckily, our photographer is a mom of (almost) 5 & totally understood. :) We met at her house then walked over to a grassy, watefall area near her home to take the pictures. It was quite the workout because getting him to sit still for more than 2 seconds was impossible & the little stinker wouldn't smile for anything! He was being so serious & SO busy! I know she got some really good ones though because she was on top of every little window of oppurtunity that she had. I can't wait to see how they turned out, hopefully in a week or so! I still can't believe my baby will be 2 so soon. :/ Oh & after we left, we went grocery shopping & that little stinker started saying "cheese" & giving his best smile ever!!! He was being a total ham & doing everything I had tried while we were shooting the pictures. Of course!!
ps... I don't post too many pictures on here since all who follow are friends on facebook.

A little scare!

I don't know why I'm even "documenting" this because its not something I want to really remember. I guess it turned out totally fine & is a little funny now. Not really, but just a tad.
Anyway, yesterday I had a really scary mommy moment. My mother-in-law came to my house to watch Grant while I went to class. She laid him down for a nap & left after I got home. (She also put away almost 3 loads of laundry, picked up dog poop, & watered my flowers-while he was napping, but thats beside the point of this post. I already know I have the BEST MIL in the world). When she was leaving, I followed her out front to water my flower pots. She had locked the door behind her (as we always do around here) then  I followed her out, shutting the door behind me. She left & I watered all my pots & when I tried to come back in, I realized I was locked out & MY BABY WAS INSIDE! Everything... I mean EVERYTHING was locked. We don't mess around here... kind of silly sometimes & not good at times like this. I don't even have a hide-a-key outside because my husband is such a freak about everything. Same guy that was kind of mad when my dad bought us a garage door opener because he was just sure somebody would find a way to break in with a universal controller! lol Anway, I was freaking out & trying to just be calm & not panic. Ya right... I was panicking inside BAD! I held back tears & kept telling myself he was totally asleep & fine. I looked around & realized my phone was also inside! Now I'm really freaking out & run to 4 different neighbors houses before I found one that was home. I called Joey & my MIL several times in a row & neither would answer because they didn't recognize the number! I finally decided to leave messages in hopes they would hear it quickly. They both called back & my MIL was closer so she turned around to come save me! I ran in as fast as I could & she had to remind me that was he was probably still asleep. Sure enough, he was sound asleep! Ahhhh, thank God he was. What a day! I think I finally convinced Joey to have a hide-a-key or atleast one over at the neighbors house.

Time for a change...

Last night, we went to my parents for Father's Day dinner. As expected, Joey got his first & luckily only call right before dinner (he was on call all weekend & is again tomorrow.. thats a whole different blog). I made him relax and eat instead of rushing over on Father's Day, especially since it was perfect outside & there was no need for heat or air. He did have to leave right after though so Grant & I decided to stay and watch old family videos (again, a whole new blog post...I've got alot to catch up on I guess.) Afterward, we decided to get in the hot tub & thats where this post begins...
This was the first time I've gotten in a swimsuit this year & first time since my surgery. I was really sad & mad at myself. I guess I just thought getting my boobs fixed & evenly small would make everything better. I was so focused on how bad that was that I just failed to notice that I'm still packing a few extra baby pounds. Can I even call them that anymore? He's going to turn TWO the end of July. This sounds totally dramatic because I really am only 5 pounds heavier then I was when I got pregnant, but I was on the chubby side then so really I'm still 10 pounds from my ideal weight. I'm honestly not so worried about the actual weight part of it because I'm 120 & in average range BMI. I'm more worried about how flabby looking & out of shape I am right now. A few extra pounds on my short body makes a big difference & so does not being in shape or tone. Also being flatter chested, although I LOVE it, makes my tummy & hips stand out more. Oh & my arms shouldn't jiggle when I wave. Enough said.
Now that I've got all that out there, its time to make a change. I know I don't need to do anything drastic & I'm not as worried about the actual weight as much as how I look & feel. My first change is to watch what I eat & not consume more than 1200 calories a day. The second change is to take Grant on a daily walk. Atleast a 20 minute speed walk every evening & 45 minutes to an hour a 2-3 times a week. I'm also going to break out the wii fit & do my Jillian Micheals full body workout 2-3 times a week. I'm making my husband hold me accountable by reminding & asking me about it. I'm also going to reward myself when I've stuck with it for a whole month... He doesn't know about that idea yet though. ;) Maybe a new outfit, better makeup, or a massage. We'll see.
Now I just need to work on time management and the motivation part of it. Its hard to find "me time" when I use my two sitters (Grant's grandmas) 3-4 days a week for atleast a few hours a day just for school time & then manage everything else I have to get done on a daily basis. Nap time is usually homework, laundry, or other housework time & the evenings are busy with dinner, dishes etc. I guess I could get up before Joey leaves, but he leaves at 630 am & if you know me, you KNOW I don't do mornings well at all. I'm a BAD night owl (as I type its after 2 in the morning)! Sounds like a bunch of excuses, but really I've just always had a hard time justifying putting in all the effort for 10 damn pounds when there is so many other things that seem more important. I didn't realize, until last night, how much I did care about those stupid flabby areas, but that's why I'm trying to make it work into my regular day & these are all things I can do with a busy toddler around! Now for the motivation part.. Its hard being motivated when its very possible for me to be pregnant in the next couple months anyway. I just have to remind myself that its better to start without the extra weight & that I want to keep it up through the next pregnancy anyway. I don't know how long its really going to take & its better to be getting in shape in the mean time. :) If nothing else, its a good distraction...

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to the best husband in the world... I couldn't have asked for a better daddy for our boy (and future babies). We are very blessed!



The very moment he became a daddy! (Sorry for the graphic picture, but it is my favorite!)

 
                                          The first time he sat down to hold his new baby boy

                                                                         Easter Day

                                                       Ride bikes up and down the street

                                                  & of course, sitting on daddy's motorcycle :)

          Thank you for being the most amazing daddy in the world, babe! We love you so very much!!!

Not so impressed!

Grant's new thing is "go momma go"... It means "get out mom, I'm busy playing with someone else". He started this last week while we had friends over for a bbq. He would individually take someone in to his playroom and if I followed, he'd literally push me out saying "no momma, go momma"! It made me a little sad, but it was really pretty funny because he was SO serious about it. He's now done it several times with different family and friends around. He's even done it to my mom a couple times now too. Last week, my friend came over with her new baby and when my mom showed up to our house he told her the same thing... almost like he didn't want her coming in and loving on that baby! lol Then today, my dad called to ask if he could pick him up and take him to Cabela's with him so I told Grant that Papa was coming to get him. My dad came in and he got all excited saying "bye-bye papa" (I'm going bye-bye w/ papa). Then he realized my mom came too and he was not having that and told her "no mam ma go go"! He got over it real quick though, thankfully!
I know its just a phase of independence and in a way it shows me that he just loves spending time with the other people in his life because he's with me all the time...

Is it normal?

Is it normal to feel so nervous when planning to try for a baby? We haven't officially started "trying" yet, but just the thought of it has me thinking all sorts of crazy ideas & I'm fearing EVERYTHING! I guess this time around will be different since Grant was a complete suprise for us. I worry it will take a really long time, I will miscarry, or something will be wrong with the baby. I have alot of friends and family who have dealt with one or all three of these things and I just feel for them and admire their strength through all of it... I don't know how I would do it, but I guess if thats my future, I will embrace it & do my best. I also have this weird feeling I will be the one with twins. Nobody real close to me, family or friends, has them & I keep thinking maybe I'm the one! I would actually be excited for that, but it would also scare me SO bad too and again, I worry about my strength through the hard times like while they're newborns, busy toddlers, or bratty teenagers! This is a little off subject, but my first day of computer class the professor came around to individually introduced herself & to get to know each of us a little. I've never had a professor take that kind of time! Anyway, I had just picked an open seat and happened to be sitting between two girls who both just had twins! They both had no idea until 20 weeks & both didn't have it in their families and weren't on fertility medication. If you know me, you know I'm a weirdo who thinks it must be a sign that this will happen to me. I mean really how did I pick the seat between these two after already worrying about that myself?! I guess we'll just wait & see & what will be will be! I mostly just wanted to document this for when I am right & something unexpected happens next time!!

Summer School...

I'm now almost two weeks into school and so far its not quite as bad as I thought and I feel like I've been managing it pretty well. It always takes me the first week or two to figure out how much time I will need for each class and what days I will do which. I think I've got that figured out now. I think my computer literacy class will be my "easier" of the two. My teacher is awesome and since class is Mondays & Wednesdays for 2 hrs & 45 mins, I seem to be able to get most of my assignments done during that time or by staying just an hour or so after class. Tuesday's & Thursdays are the days I will do my online Humanities & I'm sure it will sometimes go into Friday's & some weekends. Its alot of info & reading & writing crammed into 8 weeks, but that stuff still seems so much more manageable and less stressful for me than math. (Which painfully reminds me I have pre calculous in the fall... ugh). Lucky for me, I have my mother in law and mom to help since mom is off for the summers from work. That gives them about 4-5 hours twice a week each to get some Grant time in & I hope he doesn't completely wear them out in the next 6 1/2 weeks! The hard part will come when we are trying to go on our two summer vacations (my family cabin/reunion & washougal national)... which conviently fall right before midterms & finals. Yikes! I'm planning to try & keep Fridays open for me and Granty time & Saturday & Sunday for family time, friends, and dates with the hubby!

I'm so bad at keeping up with this!

I am not a good blogger mom at all. I guess I just enjoy reading about everyone elses lives rather than writing about my own. I am still going to try my best!
I had been meaning to keep updated on my recovery from surgery... oops.
I kept getting an infection in the same area of my incision so about a month ago, my surgeon had to reopen the area. As she guess, I had a loose stitch that was wanting to surface. For some reason my body is not wanting to dissolve all the stitches! I had an open hole that took about a week to close up. She wanted it to heal from the inside first so stiching it back up wasn't an option. It healed really quick though & besides a few others that surfaced on there own, I haven't had anymore trouble. She told me that by the looks of my incision (besides the infected area), I am way ahead of schedule in the way they healed. I'm hoping that means the scars won't be visible although I'm just happy to be able to wear a bra or swimsuit without that masectomy insert!
I have had a month off of school & it has be SOOO nice! As I knew it would, it flew by & I start back up on Monday. I have a computer class Mondays & Wednesday then I'm taking Humanities online. Hopefully its not too much for the crashed Summer course.
Grant is doing great! I cannot believe he will be 2 in a little less than two months! He is really starting to show me signs of being 2 with new tempers, fits, & frustrations, but most of the time he really is a good boy & snaps out of it pretty quickly. Consistancy really is key with this kid! He remembers everything so we have to be super careful with what we let him do or not do. He cracks me up because he says no-no while he is about to do something he's not supposed to! He is starting to talk ALOT more & mimicks almost everything although sometimes its not very clear. I usually always know what he is saying though & that always makes me feel special. :) He is most definately a daddy's boy! Everything is daddy, daddy, daddy & I pretty much get the shaft once daddy's home. Oh besides being the one who cooks dinner, cleans up & does his laundry. Typical boy! Totally kidding! We will be getting his two year pictures done soon & I cannot wait! It still seems like we just did one year pictures a few weeks ago. I think this year we will do his birthday much more simple... just ice cream & cake & not a whole meal. I'm pretty sure we will be going to the national in Washougal & will be gone on his actual birthday so we are planning to spend the actual day of at the Portland Zoo. I think Grant will love it almost as much as me. ;) Grant got a new, well hand-me-down bike from his cousin today & he is loving it! Its more like a big boy trike, but also has a handle on the back to push & steer him with. Thanks again Whitney!! We got Grant his first pet fish the other day & he has decided that his name will be "Bandaid". Poor kid has had alot of those lately! I can tell him he will hurt himself & to stop doing something over & over & until he gets hurt, it goes in one ear & out the other. Again, he's ALL BOY!
Joey is keeping really busy at work which really is such a blessing... especially since we are one income family. I am blessed to have such a hard working husband who insists that I stay home with our boy & focus on school. As always, money is tight, but we wouldn't have it any other way & are fortunate that he is able to work as many hours as he does.
We traded in the Highlander on a brand new Hyundai Sonata a few weeks ago & we are in LOVE! We lowered our payment & actually plan to pay this car off & keep it. We are getting about double the gas mileage which helps so much with these crazy gas prices! It is so roomy for car, but also really sporty & I just love the chamillion type color it has.
We have had babies & pregnant friends/family around like crazy lately & it is the best thing ever! My little nephew is due the middle of August & we are so excited for Grant to have his first boy cousin (well, immediate boy cousin) Its so nice that my friends from school are now starting their families because I was kind of a loner or atleast the youngest for awhile there. Its so nice to get my "baby fix" every so often, but it totally doesn't help my baby hunger! We plan to start working on that in the next couple months so I'm praying & hoping things happen quickly & more than anything that I am blessed with another healthy, happy baby.
I'm more than ready for the weather to finally start acting like Summer! GOSH!
We are looking forward to a family reunion trip to the cabin in Island Park (mom's side) & the motocross national in Washougal in the next couple months. Hopefully my classes don't make me too crazy so I can actually enjoy it all.
Until next time...

4 week post-op & random catch-up

On Friday, I had my 4 week post op appointment... I found out that I had the start of an infection in a few spots & had to be put on a 5 day antibiotic to clear that up. I also had to go back to using antibiotic ointment on those areas instead of the scar cream stuff. Besides those spots, she said my scars are looking 8 weeks ahead of schedule & because of that, they will be really faint come here in a couple months! She explained how I had "two different peoples boobs" & two completely different operations & to expect that will go through different healing changes at different times, but in about 8 more weeks, they will be what they will be & should "match up"! Just be even in cup size is good for me & I'm already feeling so much better with that so I can't even imagine how happy I will be in that time! :) I am able to wear a more formed bra as long as it doesn't have underwire. Yay! Since I won't be seeing her for a couple months (unless the infection doesn't clear up), I asked her when it would be okay to start trying for another baby & she said, go for it... then hurried to say... but wait til your home. haha I just love her personality & how down to earth she is. Of course, Joey got all red-faced on that one. We are still going to wait until August though because of my school semesters & then all we can do is hope it happens quickly & that it works perfectly with my school. I'm such a planner though that God seems like to throw suprises or twists to my "perfect" plans all the time. (I know he is just teaching me to have patience & trust in him.) The BEST news about my whole appointment was that I am finally able to pick up my baby. That month about killed me! I still have to be very careful & not carry him very long or lift, push, pull or do anything repetative... still no vacuuming. Dang it, NOT! lol She said in a couple more weeks, I will be able to gage when I can start doing more upper body things & I'm really anxious for all that so I can get in shape now that I don't have huge knockers in the way!
After my appointment, I hurried home, left everything in the car, & ran in to hold my sweet little boy. I can't even begin to describe how good it made me feel to lift him up! It was almost as good as the first time I held him, seriously! I kept it together for a few minutes until my mother-in-law left & then I went crazy kissing him & crying. I'm sure Grant was thinking that I definately had lost my mind now! I spent the whole evening with him while Joey went out with my dad & brothers. It just felt so nice to actually feel like a mom again & to not have to be babysat while I was with him! It also felt nice to be able to tell my mother-in-law that she can finally sleep in & have a break. Poor thing was pretty worn out & sore after all of this. :( My mom finally got to have time for herself to as she had spent most of her spring break over here then for the following weeks worked really early in the morning then had Grant on alot of the evenings. Its just been a nice feeling all around & it worked out perfectly to be able to lift because Joey was on call this weekend so its pretty spontaneous when he gets calls & has to go so it would've been a mess trying to manage that!

In other news... we finally decided to get curbing done around our landscape. A guy is coming to do it on Tuesday & we are so excited. The front stuff will be colored similarly to the stone on the front of our house & the backyard will be regular cement color (its cheaper). It will be so nice for both of us because the grass was taking over my flower beds & making it a pain for Joey to mow. We finally hung some really pretty red drapes over our back door. Okay, Joey did the hanging, but I picked them out & used my birthday money so I can say "we" right?! We decided to do that instead of buying regular back door blinds because of price & decoration. Win, win. We hung drapes over Grant's window too because we think that the sun through the blinds in the morning has been making him wake up earlier so hopefully this helps! (We just did it today.) We also rearranged his room so that he can't pull the drapes off the wall from his crib & I LOVE the way it all looks now. We made our spare room more or a play room so that we could clear out some of the toys from his room & the living room & thats been really nice too! Our old coffee table that we put in the spare room while Grant was learning to walk & was so clumsy, has now turned into a car-playing area in the play room. Go figure, he's all boy!! While doing all this spring cleaning, we finally decided on how & what we are going to paint & I'm so excited! I'd explain, but its too confusing without pictures so I will post some when its all finished. That is, after we can afford the paint & have the time to do it. I'm hoping in May while I'm off school for a month.
Speaking of school, I just registered for my Summer & Fall classes. This summer I will have a computer class from 1-345 Mondays & Wednesdays & also take Humanities online. Then in the fall, I will have my next & FINAL math class on Mondays & Wednesdays from 1130-1245 & Ethics on Saturdays from 8-1045. After all that I will take Chemistry in the Spring & apply to the RN program!! Its going to be such a busy year, especially if all goes well with having another baby in the mix of all of that. I just keep telling myself how thankful I will be when it is done & it will be so nice to know that I got my RN when I was only 24 & raised a family while doing it. :) Not to toot my own horn or anything because after all it will have taken me a lonnnng time to actually finish & graduate!
Sorry for the rambling... just needed to catch up!!

Grant at 20 months

As of the 23rd, my boy is 20 months old! I'm still wondering where all the time went! He has grown up so much these last few months & is no longer looking like a baby, but more & more like a little boy. He is one handsome little guy or should I say tall guy & he fills our lives with so much joy & laughter...

He is still doing really well potty-training & is now using the regular toilet without even a potty seat on it. He very rarely has accidents & is now telling us "pee pee" or "poo" when he has to go!

He is talking more & more all the time. I can't even list all the words he says now, but his new favorites are "goggles" & he loves to wear motorcyle goggles around the house (imagine that...I'm DOOMED)! He also say's "plane" & will sit at a window, outside, or in the car & spot them from far away...usually before we even do. He also points out the "sun" & the moon". He will randomly mimic things, such as "turtle" (yesterday at the zoo) & picks up on things so quickly. The joke around here is that he is going to wait to say grandma until he's about ten because he knows its driving his grandmas crazy! (We have quietly heard it a few times though). In the last few days, I've loved how often he is saying momma! Even the "momma, momma, momma...hi" thing isn't driving me crazy yet, & it always just melts my heart. We laugh at how sweetly he says "ugh.. no" to things. "Mine" is now another favorite word... Its pretty cute, but not one of my favorites lol.

He knows pretty much all animals & the sounds they make too. I think his favorite animal right now is a kitty. I might be "doomed" with him having motorcyles someday, but Joey is doomed for having a cat one of these days too!

He makes the silliest faces... when we say smile, he squints his eyes & scrunches up his face. When we say pretty eyes, he starts blinking non stop. He also makes different faces depending on which animal we ask him about.

He knows the gestures for a few different songs & will randomly start doing them so that you can sing with him. His daddy has him mixed up with "If you happy & you know it" Instead of doing one verse "clap your hands" & the next verse "stomp your feet", he does it all in one..."clap your hands, STOMP your feet". So on Monday at library story time (my first time going with him & his grammy since I'm usually in class), while everyone was doing the first verse "clap your hands", Grant gets up & is clapping his hands while stomping his feet. All the moms & grandmas got a good laugh out of it. Another new one he learned from my mom the other day (a not so popular one) goes like "shoe a horsey, shoe a mare, shoe a cody... bear, bear, bear" & while its being sung, you slap the bottoms of his feet. Well my mom had taught him it in the morning, while I was sleeping & later that night he starts slapping his feet & trying to sing & when I didn't know all the words, he hands me my phone... almost as if to tell me to call grandma & ask. So we did. Then the next morning when he was with his grammy (Joey's mom), he starts slapping his feet & she was wondering why. It just makes me laugh at how quick he picks up on things.

He still signs "please" instead of saying it with words. Its the only thing he signs anymore & I'm totally fine with it... just as long as he's saying it in some form!

He has a new obsession with babies & loves to point them out & sweetly says "baby". I guess its a sign that he wants mommy to have one... right? ;) We plan to start trying for one of those towards the end of summer. (The timing works best for my school semesters or we'd start sooner).

He loves to be outside & doesn't care what the weather is like... he'd be out there all day, everyday, if it was up to him. He will randomly start saying "bye bye" & get his shoes & jacket & then proceed to get ours too. If he doesn't get to go right then or if you tell him we will, but its not RIGHT NOW, then he gets pretty upset.

He's starting to throw little temper tantrums every now & then, but he gets over them pretty quickly. Please don't tell me that we are already starting "terrible twos"? They usually happen over things he wants, like going outside or a bottle.

He's still having a bottle & he is pretty attached to it. I figure I'll break it around 2 years. Thats what our doctor reccommends & I figure I can only do one thing at a time... We broke the binky right after his first birthday & are now potty training so I just don't think its fair to do too much growing up at once. Plus he needs & loves it! :)

He's a good little sleeper & will usually sleep 10 to 12 hours at night then around 2 hours at naptime. Every so often, he absolutely refuses his nap & we just put him to bed earlier. He's starting to drag out bedtime by trying to distract us... its actually pretty funny. The last few nights its been taking him awhile to fall asleep & he fusses a little longer than usual. I figure/hope its just another stage of testing his limits & we don't give in unless we think there is something really bothering him & we can usually tell by the cry he makes or the things he's mumbling about.

He's a social butterfly & says "hi" & "bye" to complete strangers. He has no problem making friends with kids we see at the park or wherever else. This is something he definately gets from his daddy because I was a very shy little girl. (These are the kinds of things that make me so curious to have another baby). The other day while we were out at lunch & he was totally flirting with a girl sitting at the next booth & when we got up to pay he was high-fiving a group of elderly couples that were next to the register. They were "ooing & ahhing" at his big brown eyes & he totally knew what they were saying & was showing off.

I never noticed how tall he really is for his age until recently with being around more kids. Since birth, he's always been somewhere in the 90th percentile for height & was 98% at his last appointment. Another thing he obviously gets from his dad.

We took him for the first time this year, yesterday, & he loved all the animals & learning the sounds they all make. He was totally content with it all, until the very end. He was feeding goats & sheep & I stood back to take a picture (a family friend, Lindsey & his aunt Amanda were with him) & the sheep got irritated at the goats because they were hogging all the food so it "baaaad" really loud & Grant jumped like 5 feet then started screaming/crying. My first reaction was to laugh because the situation was so funny, but then I felt like the worst mom ever when I realized how upset he was. We told the sheep "no no" & it seemed to make him feel better. At the time, his grammy was in the bathroom so when she came walking up, he had to tell her all about it. It was pretty funny & went something like "baaaa... NO NO". He was pretty timid/nervous the rest of the trip so thankfully that happened towards the end.

One last thing he's been doing lately is telling anything that gets him, bonks him, or trips him, "no no". Its probably not the best thing to teach him.... that everything that happens to him is that things fault, but it gets his mind off it quickly & we all get a good laugh. He'll bonk his head on a chair & turn around and tell the chair "no no". The only issue we've ran into with this one is when we are trying to tell him no for something, but he'll turn around like we are talking to something else & start saying it too.

We sure love this little guy & get so many laughs out of the things he does. I feel so blessed to have such a healthy & smart little boy & I don't think it gets better than that.

I had originally planned to add pictures, but I'm feeling to lazy for that & they are all on facebook usually anyway!

Recovery...

This post is continued on from the previous one & onto recovery...

After returning home from surgery Friday, my sister-in-law left & my mom showed up to take Grant to her house for the night. The following day (sometime in the evening), Joey took me to my parents to stay for Saturday night & took Grant home with home with him. I came home Sunday & then Joey was home with Grant & I both through Tuesday. He had to go back to work Wednesday.I must say that he was more than wonderful & even better than I thought he would be. I had cleaned the house & caught up on all laundry prior to surgery, but he was on top of it keeping it up. He kept the house spotless & kept up with the laundry & dishes. He pretty much pampered me as well. He kept track of the different medications & pain meds & let me sleep whenever I wanted for however long I wanted. He was also on top of caring for all my wounds & emptying my drain (I wore on my right side for four days). He was constantly asking to get me something to drink or fixing me something to eat. He did all of this while keeping up with a very busy little boy who never lets him even sit down! It was hard to know he'd be going back to work, but I already knew my family would be wonderful. The following few days, my mom or mother-in-law would arrive before Grant was up then keep him entertained all day by either taking him to the park or library or to their own houses while I napped & relaxed at home. Once Joey got home from work, he took over. By Friday (one week) I was ready to get out of the house went with my MIL & Grant to her house for the day. Then on Saturday I did the same thing & went to my parents w/ my mom & Grant. (Joey ended up having to work Saturday then helped his sister move). Sunday I hung out with my momma & we went to get pedicures while Joey took Grant up to the motorcycle club & then to his parents to play. This week my MIL & mom are switching every other day... they come before Grant gets up & we do whatever during the day until Joey is home.

Sorry, to bore you with all those details, but I just wanted to jot down how things went for myself. (This blog is a bit of a journal for me).

To get to the good stuff... the first Monday, following surgery, Joey & I went to my first post op where I finally got to see the results! She took off my cast/binder type thing & my bra then removed the drain. I was amazed at how good & EVEN they already looked. I didn't get more than a peek with a hand mirror because she didn't want me sitting up right away after removing the drain. She dressed everything up with ointment & went over how to care for my incisions. For those who are curious, on my right breast, I am cut starting from my armpit through the whole bottom of my breast. Then I'm cut around the nipple (which was resized & lifted) & then from the bottom of the nipple & straight down to to underneath my breast. The left side only needed a lift so I am only stiched around the nipple. During my appointment, she explained more about my surgery & told me the my left breast was much easier than expected & ended up taking alot less time than she imagined it would, but my that I made her work for the right breast. lol We got there though & I am still amazed at how wonderful they turned out & already look. I have even teared up a few times over it all. I think its mostly because I have never had even breasts since the time I developed & now they are even & perky too! hehe (too much info? Get off my blog!! ha) My next appointment was on Thursday & my mom took me. It was fun to have her with me because she had a full reduction on both sides four & a half years ago by the same surgeon. The break down of recorvery is... I have to continue to wear my sports bra thing that buckles in the front for atleast 3 more weeks. I have to frequently put healing ointment on all my incision & next week I start using a special scar cream on them & have to massage it into all the incisions several times a day. (The cream is AMAZING... my moms scars are hardly visible at all)! I can't lift hardly anything heavy & have to be careful with reaching. This is all for the next 3 weeks & then I see my surgeon again & we go from there. I have to say, I feel much better than I thought I would- pain wise, which is great because I don't tolerate the pain pills very good at all. I am suprised at how much more tired I am & have to constantly remind myself that my body is working hard to heal & that is what is taking my energy. The hardest part about it all is not being able to lift my boy! I miss it so much & almost forget that I can't pick him up a billion times a day. I know this will all pass quickly & he won't even remember this time though. He has been the sweetest thing in the whole world & will kiss me, sit by me or do most things I ask. He seems to understand it & has been extra loving to me. This is my last week off before I return to school & that is what scares me the very most...
Thanks to everyone who has called, text, kept us in your prayers, & brought meals! I love you all!!

surgery update (long one!)

I'm wide awake due to the neighbors loud music earlier, a woken baby, & feeling helpless to my husband who is now going to run on 4 hours of sleep so I guess I will update this thing...

We bought our house a year and half ago. Its a brand new house in a new neighborhood & we really do LOVE it. It is family friendly w/ lots of parks close by, which is wonderful. We have made new friends that live right across the street... they have a two year old daughter & an eight month old son. That part is so nice. The neighbors on our side of the street aren't so wonderful. A few months back, the guy(s) two houses down, had a dog that was constantly getting out of the fence during the day. (I took him back one of the times.) There was alot of nights that the dog was barking ALL NIGHT too. Finally, we walked over one late night to see what was going on with the dog. Clearly, nobody was home so we peeked around back to look into the yard (its a vinyl fence). As we were looking, here come some other neighbors who were also concerned. We noticed the dog was completely tangled up & couldn't move. This was in the middle of December too! The other neighbors filed a complaint that night. Two nights later, same thing, so we gave them another "warning". The next day the owner of the dog shows up at our house & asks if we left this paper in his mail box... somebody had printed off the weather report for the week & put it in his mailbox. We told him it wasn't us, but let him know what we thought about the issue too & after he left, we got a good laugh about whoever put that in the mailbox. Anyway, since then, it has stopped. Thank goodness. Well now we are having more neighbor issues...The guy next door has clearly had alcohol issues... Joey, him, & another guy all built the fence together this Summer & he wore an alcohol sweat detector thing after several DUI's & was constantly talking about how bad he wanted a beer. Anyway, no big deal there, until recently. He's been rocking out late at night... even on week days & Grant's window is right next to their house. Joey has nicely asked him to keep it down, but it only lasts a couple days at time. Tonight, we'd had it & called the police department. We decided to only "warn" him & not sign a sitation... for now atleast. Grant was completely freaked out by it & woke up several times. Not only is that frustrating, but I can't lift him for atleast 3 more weeks, because of my surgery, so Joey was up with him alot. Let's hope that is all over with now!

Anyway, I've been wanting to post about how surgery so I guess I will write myself to sleep tonight lol...

Friday, the 18th, we arrived at 530 am downtown St. Lukes. We were shocked at how quickly they were ready for me. They took me into the pre surgery place where I gave a pee sample & got into my gown. My nurse came in & did the usual vitals. She seemed like a pretty good nurse & everything was going well. After a few minutes, they let Joey back to sit with me while we waited & waited for surgery. One of the times she came in, she asked me if I was had any questions, so out of pure curiosity, I asked if I'd have a catheter & when they'd be putting it in. She gave me a weird look & said of course not. She went on & on for the next few minutes about how there is no way I'd even need a catheter because everything stops while your under. I still thougth that sounded odd since I'd be under for up to 7 hours, but I didn't question her. She kept bringing it up as she popped in & out of the room... almost as if she wasn't sure herself, but didn't want to be wrong. My anesthesiologist (sp) & his nurse came in to meet me & then we just waited for my surgeon to come in & draw all over me while I was standing up. As the surgeon walks in, she laughs while telling the surgeon that I thought I might have a catheter. My surgeon looks at her with kind of an evil eye & says OF COURSE she'll have a catheter & the nurse just walks out. I thought it was pretty funny! After that, I got the happy juice & remember telling Joey I can feel my arm burning... then boom, I was out & off to surgery.
I had advised Joey to not sit at the hospital all day, so he went and got a few groceries & dropped them off home then went to play with Grant, who was at his parents house.

Sidenote: last week, Grant got the flu & ended up being really sick for 3 days. We dropped him off Thursday night & while we were there, my MIL starts throwing up too! Ughhh... I was seriously contemplating cancelling surgery, but we'd be out alot of money & have to wait months to reschedule. Joey's dad assured us he'd be fine with him & didn't have to work the next day so we finally left. The next morning (while I'm in surgery) Joey's dad ends up having to go into work so my sister-in-law called into her work & ended up having Grant all day. It was pretty hectic!

Surgery went really well & ended up not taking as long as planned. They took me into the main recovery room for an hour or so before they would take me into a different recovery room where I could have visitors. The nurse in the main recovery seemed nice although I don't remember much of that. When I got to the other room, I was starting to be pretty alert & was sooo thirsty. I was freaked out because I knew where I was, but the nurses were ignoring me & Joey wasn't in there like I thought he'd be. I finally pushed my call button & a guy nurse came in, introduced himself then started to walk out! I asked him where my husband was & ended up waiting about 20 more minutes until Joey came in. He too, was out there asking several times when he could finally come in. In the meantime, I pushed my call button and asked for a drink & the nurse said sure I'll get you water then acted kind of put out when I asked if I could have a coke. He hands me it & partially sits me up then walks off. Umm... HELLO! I need sat up all the way & I don't have anywhere to set this down. I held it while feeling all sleepy & ended up reaching to the tray at the end up my bed to put it down. (I'm not supposed to be down anything like that with my arms.) Joey came in & I felt a huge relief just having him there. Shortly after, I started feeling really nauseated & Joey got the nurse. He asked me if I'd rather have one drug or another. Uh.. I don't know, you're the nurse, but Joey ended up making the decision. He gives it to me & nothing really changes so I tell him that I think its because my stomach is so empty. I was so hungry! (Hadn't ate in about 20 hours). He hesitates then offers a couple crackers & brings me two. I eat those, and as I expected, two crackers didn't do crap. Once again, I had to ask for more & then he gives me the option of saltines or ritz so I say ritz & make the comment that they don't seem as dry to swallow. He turns around, and says a crackers a cracker & throws them on my lap. At this point, Joey & I are both irritated & I'm trying to prep myself to ask to get he catheter out & leave. During shift change, I hear my nurse tell the next nurse good luck! Now I'm about to cry because I really didn't think I was being a difficult patient & Joey assures me that I wasn't & he was just an ass. The new nurse comes in & takes the catheter, but says I need to stay atleast a few more minutes after that. All of a sudden, a throbbing pain all over my chest starts & it takes my breath away. Joey gets the nurse, & I tell her my pain is unbareable & asked if I could have anything. She hesitates & asks me to wait it out. I wait a few minutes & nothing changes. Joey gets her back in the room & she says I shouldn't have anything because I had a Norco just over an hour before then walks out! I start crying & my heart monitor starts beeping really loud so a couple nurses come in then decide to call my surgeon & see what she thinks & of course, she tells them to give me something & that I'm not to leave until I'm comfortable. They finally come in with a little morphine. Ahhhh! :) I get the nerve up to tell that bitch a little something (sorry for the language!) I go on to say, "I don't know if you have ever given birth, but let me tell you... I did give birth without even a tylenol & wasn't at this or any stupid hospital for that matter. I have a high pain tolerance & only take things when absolutely needed." She doesn't say a word & walks out! Joey gives me a high five & we laugh our butts off! If you know me, you know I'm not very outspoken & definately don't use my natural birth card to often. I was proud! She nervously comes back in & says I need to try to rest so I can go home. How the heck do you rest with a fluoresent light above your head? I decide to be a brat (not really though) & have her come back to ask if she'd turn the light off so I can rest. She hesitates, but finally does. I nod off to sleep for about five minutes & boom the light's back on. Wow! I'm so mad by this point so I have Joey sit me up. She finally goes out & I sit start to fall asleep again when I suddenly feel the urge to pee. I'm thinking great... just great. I tell Joey I'm going to hold it until we leave because I'm not asking that bitch for anything. He doesn't think thats a good idea & pushes the call light. Nobody comes in & we wait... finally, he goes out & gets a nurse (not my nurse) to come in & take me to the bathroom. She grabs my upper arm to get up. Ouch, Lady... did you not read your notes that I can't be pulled on my arms!! Ughhhh... Joey asks if he should come with me or if she will handle it & she tells him I'm fine. She walks me into the bathroom, hooks my iv on something and walks out. Thanks... guess I'l lean over, pull down my own pants, yank the toilet paper off (all no-no's) but what can I do? I pull the call light because you know she didn't even wait outside the bathroom, & finally comes in & unhooks the iv then just stands there while I pull up my pants & turn on the sink. We get back to my room & I tell Joey, I'm done with this place & leaving so I sit down in the regular chair & he puts my shoes on. My nurse okays it with my surgeon & we are out! I cry the whole way home & beg Joey to tell me if I was being difficult & his insists that it wasn't me & they were extremely rude. We get home & my boy comes running to me saying momma, momma. I completely lose it & bawl my eyes out even more.

I will update the more on the recovery part later... time for bed finally!

Grant at 19 months

Just kidding... that wasn't my last post. I should be sleeping, but I want to update on Grant before surgery. He's being doing so many new things everyday and I've got to start keeping better track...
Potty training is still going really well, thank goodness! I've lost track of how many days its been since his last accident. He now has his potty seat on the regular toilet and most of the time doesn't even use that. When we ask if he needs to go, he will either go straight to the bathroom or just say no (in the cutest voice ever.) Every so often he will even grab himself and say potty! He still wears pull-ups at naptime and bedtime, but I'm not planning on night training him until he's out of the crib and that will be awhile...
(This Summer we are planning on moving him into the other room and making it a "big boy" room w/ a toddler bed. His room that he's in now is much better for the new brother or sister that will be in the making whenever I am healed up from surgery!)
He is starting to talk alot more and I have lost track of all the things he can say now as they come out of no where and are totally random. Tonight, he pointed at the sky and said blue then found the moon and said "moon". He will also point out an airplane and any birds/ducks.
He starts looking for airplanes as soon as he hears one and get super excited.
He knows a few colors and can say a couple of them and then will relate them to anything else that same color.
He point's to himself and says "Grant" although its not very clear yet.
He is ALL boy and loves playing chase and anything else that includes running and wrestling.
He could stay outside all day everyday, no matter what the weather.
He is starting to be able to sit for longer periods of time to cuddle, watch cartoons, play with a toy, or look at a book.
He loves to "help" with everything and will find any tiny piece of something and say "ugh oh" then take it to the garbage.
I've noticed that he is a bit OCD and likes to organize and clean things. (hmmm, I have no idea where he gets that from!)
He knows all his animals and the sounds that they make. He loves to bark at dogs whenever we see one and especially loves petting and meowing at my parents cat.
He doesn't like his hands dirty and wants them cleaned off all the time. (Again, I wonder where he gets that. hehe)
He is very sensitive and fake cries every so often. He pulls an awesome "pouty face" too. He's very sympathetic to anyone that is upset and will hug and kiss them like crazy.
He is loves bathtime.. especially when its in our big bathtub and even more when mommy gets in with him. :) Its always a good excuse for me to take a bubble bath after he gets out.
We are both thouroughly enjoying this stage as we have every stage. He is just sooo fun and so sweet. I can't believe how fast the time goes and how quickly he learns new things. Being a mommy is the very BEST thing in the world! I cannot wait to give him a brother or sister to play with. I know he will be the most wonderful and helpful big brother once he realizes that a little attention will be taken from him.

Birthday Weekend

My 21st Birthday was on Sunday the 13th. I didn't really want to celebrate for many reasons... 1) I feel kind of silly even admitting that I'm only 21. ( I feel much older w/ the life I lead. 2) I don't like to drink and can't handle it well AT ALL. & 3) I have/had a long week ahead of me getting ready for surgery.
Needless to say, my husband wasn't having it and insisted we celebrate with family and friends. We ended up doing it Saturday...
My boys (Joey and Grant) took me to my favorite little breakfast place, Sunrise, first thing in the morning. Afterward we went and got our Costco trip out of the way and then went to the mall. Joey wanted me to pick something to wear that night. I found some cute stuff and we headed home to get Grant down for his nap. (Does that sound like the typical 21st birthday yet? lol)
That night, we met both of our families and a few close friends at Red Robin for dinner. Grant went home w/ my parents and we came home and met friends at the house... the guys caught up on Supercross.
We all headed downtown at 11:30ish where we met my brothers and couple more friends.
Our original plan was to meet at Mack & Charlies and go from there. It was packed w/ a line at the door so we walked down to another bar (Bistro) and went in there. It too was completely packed and the music was wayyy to loud! I was instantly ready to leave, but instead got a drink and took a birthday shot w/ my brother. I couldn't even hear/talk to any of my family or friends and was ready to leave.
We all walked out when suddenly everyone split without a plan... Joey, his sister, my brothers, and on other couple were the only ones with me. (We started w/ about 16 of us). We decided to go to a smaller place. It was much quieter and not busy at all. My kind of place! All I wanted to do that night was chat w/ my friends and kind of relax. (Still not sounding very 21.. I must just be boring). Well the ones who stayed w/ us were there and we ended up losing track of everyone else. We stayed for a bit (we only had 2 hours anyway). We stopped for a slice of greasy pizza on the way... and I hoped it'd mean I wouldn't get sick.
We got home and went straight to bed where I tossed and turned most of the night and didn't sleep a wink, by 7ish I started puking and was sick ALL morning. Exactly why I can't drink! Not only did out way to late, we lost an hour because of the time change.
Sunday, my actual birthday, I was exhausted and felt pretty crappy.
Oh well, its over and done with now and I'm happy to say, you won't be seeing me downtown at the bars. Its not fun at all and my life, whether its like any other 21 year olds or not, is SOOO much better. I am so lucky to have already found my soulmate and started a family. I couldn't imagine things any different or better than they are.
I am thankful for my husband who wanted to make my day special and for my family and friends who came along... even if some ditched me later in the night. :)
Fast forward to today, Monday. The lost night of sleep and the time change made for a late start at a not-so-fun morning in class and now the crazy week begins... surgery is FRIDAY!
I have atleast finished my homework, but am studying like crazy for the exam that I'm taking a week before everyone else on Thursday and sometime I need to fit in going grocery shopping, touching-up the house, renewing my license, and celebrating my brothers birthday... Oh and of course, I will be squeezing on and playing with my boy as much a possible. The thought of not being able to lift him is really breaking my heart. I got him to sleep in my arms Friday night and ended up holding him while bawling my eyes out and kissing all over him for a couple of hours. It was much needed!!!
Here we go...
This is probably my last post until sometime after surgery so wish me luck!

Focus, focus, focus

I can't believe that I'm only 10 days from having surgery. It seems like forever that I've been waiting for 1-even being able to get it done, and 2- just waiting the almost 5 months of having it scheduled. I've been this way for a long time and although it's always been devistating, it has NEVER affected me the way it has in recent years. Maybe its that it got a billion times worse from pregnancy, or maybe its just the lack of self-esteem its given me, but either way, I couldn't be more excited to just have it done and over with. Well, until we see what baby number two, and maybe three and four (hee hee) do to my body! For now, I can't think about that and just have to be happy with how I will feel and know that if this does happen again, atleast this time, I'm starting from a good (even) place. I can't express how nice it will feel to wear a bra without the huge insert (that is usually used for masectomy patients). It will be so nice to not be constantly adjusting and worrying about things looking normal. It will feel so good to shop and have a broader selection of what I can actually wear. It will be a relief to not have to wash and powder that damn thing all the time! haha. Most of all, I know I will feel better and happier and right now, thats what matters!
For months, this day couldn't come fast enough... now that its creeping up on me, I feel the stress and huge load of to-do's on my shoulders. Not only do I have a 19 month old, who's in the middle of potty training, but I have a crap load of homework and studying in preparation for my early exam. I'm not doing so well in math and NEED to do extremely good on the exam! I want to go to the hospital that day (530 am. Yikes!) feeling at ease about everything. To do that, I need to have a good grade in math, a happy baby, a clean house, and a plan! The goal this week is to do all the homework. This weekend I will take time out for myself, since its my 21st birthday, to have a good time with family and friends. Starting Monday, I will be studying my heart out for that exam on Thursday, come home and touch up the house, and spend the evening relaxing (or trying to, but I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck). On top of that, we might be getting a different SUV and even if we don't, I'll have to spare some time for the DMV to renew my license, go get a few groceries, and plan a few easy meals for the husband to make...
Let me say, I know I should just be feeling very blessed to be having my issue fixed and that I KNOW there are alot of people who have alot more/worse stresses in there life. This is just my place to unload, vent, and write things out!

Our Weekend :(

Sometime last week I started feeling sick... nothing too bad, just under the weather. I knew I was run down and was more than likely going to get sick because of it so I started popping vitamin C like crazy! Between that, alka seltzer, and zicam nose spray, I was able to manage. I had a crap load of homework that was due Wednesday night and exam on Thursday so I did what I could throughout the week, but ended up staying up pretty late Wednesday night cramming for the exam. (Its not easy getting everything done when I'm relying on naptime and whenever I can leave Grant a little longer at his grandmas.) Anyway, I was pretty nervous for the exam, as I usually ALWAYS am before tests. I got up and headed to class with a huge knot in my stomach. My professor passes out the test and I swear it looked like Spanish to me. I only was completely sure of a few of the problems. My mind was just blank and I started feeling really panicky. I tried to just relax and slowly read things over. Well, that didn't work and I could feel my chin starting to tremble and I was about to break down! I finally decided to write the professor a little note and see if I could try the test again another day. I turned it in and broke down as soon as I got in the car. I emailed him when I got home and explained everything and told him I'd do everything I can to get my grade up. I had so much to do over the weekend that I kept myself busy enough to just get my mind off of it for a few days... planning to figure out everything after class on Monday...
I deep cleaned, and I mean REALLY DEEP cleaned on Friday and it felt soooo good to finally have that done for awhile. (We all know how long it really lasts with a toddler boy running around!)
Saturday we had a birthday party to go to so we took it easy all morning and went to that. We had a ton of fun, but while we were there I noticed Grant was starting to cough alot. GREAT... I just knew he was going to get sick with all the crap floating around right now. Well, sure enough, a few hours after being home, he was coughing like crazy and really hard. :( By night time, he was throwing up. He ended up coughing and throwing up all night and the next day (yesterday).
I wanted to miss class and just be home to take care of my baby, but I knew I needed to go figure out the issue with my test and today would just be a really bad day to miss after all of that. My MIL came to watch Grant and he was able to sleep in. He woke up seeming alot better and so far, hasn't thrown up. Still coughing though. Gosh! I just HATE when my baby is sick... its the most helpless feeling ever. I really hope he's over it!
Well, I get to class and its a huge sigh of relief... the average grade on the test (theres about 40 of us) was 55%! Therefore, the professor realized it didn't stick with any of us and we need to make some changes. It felt way better knowing, I'm not an idiot and everyone else did poorly too. He gave us 10 extra points on the test and is offering an extra credit quiz on Thursday worth 50 points! We also talked about the different things that would help us do better... I will spare you all the details!
 Anyway, I'm feeling much better about all of it. Still stressed that I have to cram two weeks of stuff into 4 days, but I'm just taking one day at a time and hoping all this crud going around will clear up soon and we'll all be feeling better!

Playing Catch-Up

I'm not good at this blogging thing AT ALL. I love reading them, hate posting them and I really am not computer savvy enough to keep up with everything and make my blog cute... I do however LOVE to read them and find it almost therapuetic (sp?) to read things that I totally relate too and find that so many women say how good it feels to write out how they are feeling...

With that being said, I want to become a better blogger and keep a nice little journal of our lives! and since, I'm known for being a "blog stalker" (which my husband often teases me about), I'm going to keep this public for those of you who are like me. :) We'll see how that goes though and if I even end up sticking with it!

To quickly catch up...

Joey passed his HVAC journeyman test a few months back! He's still at the same job, doing the same thing. (Which he loves and is a complete natural at!)

Grant is now 19 months and I cannot express enough how fast the time has gone! Everyday, he does more and more and he is becoming such a sweet, smart little boy and of course, we think he is the most adorable thing ever! He's still VERY BUSY and is still into everything and anything. However, I have notice that this last month, he has relaxed a bit and will sit still for longer periods of time. He currently loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and will almost watch a whole episode or atleast half! (I know tv is not the best thing to want your toddler to do, but for my sanity, its very nice to have him sit and relax for a few minutes.) He is starting to talk alot more and will randomly mock the things we say too. We have had to be very careful with our words! For example, the other day while we were in the car, somebody cut us off and Joey said, "IDIOT" and Grant repeated it exactly like daddy! Although kind of humurous, its not a word I want him using! LOL And finally, the biggest milestone he's recently hit is potty training. I can't believe those words are even coming out of my mouth! I so didn't expect this until another year or so down the road. Grant made it very clear to us that he was ready... his diaper would be dry for hours and when he'd finally held it to long, he'd grab himself and whine as he went in his diaper and immediatlely wanted changed. Also, he'd wake up dry after nap time, so I realized that he had control of his bladder. We decided to just buy him a potty chair and let him play around with the idea. Well... the second night we had it, he wanted to go and went. I still feel like he's to young, but I've finally come to the conclusion that this is on his time and not mine. We are now putting him in "big boy undies" during the day and pullups at nap and bedtime. We fill him with positive encouragement and every time he goes, we let him flush it down the real potty, wash his hands, then he picks out a sticker. We take him every 20 minutes whether he goes or not. When he doesn't, we just say, nice try and we'll do it again in a little while. He is catching on quickly and went to days straight without and accident then only had one yesterday and it was a poo one and we were playing at the neighbors when it happened. So far, so good I think!

As for me,... I have started my new semester in school. Well, I'm almost half way through it already, thank goodness! Its Math 108 and its very hard for me! Math is by far my biggest weakness! I have class Mon through Thursday mornings and Grant goes to his grandma's. On one-two of the days, I leave him a little longer so I can do homework. So far, it has been hectic, but manageable and I've been doing okay keeping up. All of a sudden last night, it hit me hard and I"M SUPER STRESSED with everything going on. For those of you who don't already know, I will be having surgery on March 18th. My breast are very assymetric and have been since I first developed, but got wayyy worse after having Grant. (I know its personal, but I don't mind... one is a DDD and the other is a B!) I fought with insurance for six months, and they finally settled to pay half of the cost of surgery. Thank goodness because its expensive! I thought about waiting until after I'm done having kids, but I'm already have enough issues as it is and don't know what I would do if it gets worse with every baby. Also, its a rare case that insurance approves to help out at all and when they agree to, you have to schedule the surgery or it goes away after 90 days. I've had it scheduled now for four months and was completely excited to finally have it fixed, but now that its so close I'm nervous, scared, excited, stressed and a billion other emotions. I will be under for over 6 hours and will be cut from breast bone to armit on each side, then up to nipple, nipples taken off completely so she can resize everything perfectly. I will be a nice EVEN, perky ;), B when its all said and done. I will also be wearing a drain on the larger side for awhile and won't be able to lift for 4 weeks. I CAN'T LIFT MY BABY FOR A MONTH!!!! I'm so sad about that. Anyway, lucky for me, I have a great family and plenty of help through all of that. In the meantime, I have sooooo much to do to get ready. The quick run-down a crap load of homework and studying for my 2nd exam on Thursday, deep clean and I mean really deep clean the house this weekend, pre-op is next week and that includes alot of stuff, then one more "normal" week until its my 21st birthday (still need to figure out what I'm doing for it) then I have 4 days to get two weeks of math done because surgery is that Friday. The two weeks of math includes taking my 3rd exam a week early and no instruction on half of the homework! I will be missing a whole week of class then the following week after that is Spring Break. I will have two weeks off and then its back to the grind and hopefully I'll be healed enough. Wish us all luck with all of that, we will need it! :)

There's the quick or actually not-so-quick catch up and my rant for the day! Sorry for such a long post!